17 Signs That You're A Drunk !!!

1. You lose arguments with inanimate objects.
2. You have to hold on to the lawn to keep from falling off the earth.
3. Your job starts to interfere with your drinking.
4. Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream.
5. The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat.
6. You sincerely believe alcohol is the elusive 5th food group.
7. 24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?!?!?
8. You complain that you have two hands and just one mouth to drink with.
9. Every woman you see has an identical twin.
10. You fall off the floor.
11. The shrubbery around your house is drunk too, from frequent watering.
12. Your idea of cutting back is having less salt with your tequila.
13. Every night, you're beginning to find your neighbor's cat more and more attractive.
14. Roseanne looks good to you.
15. You've fallen and can't get up.
16. You don't recognize your wife unless seen from the bottom of a glass.
17. You have a reserved parking space at the liquor store.