JAVA vs. DOTNET

"The Java programming language is famous for being too efficient. Even the most complex programs written in Java, like Adobe Photoshop or Microsoft Windows ME, can run with only 640 bytes of RAM, at near instantaneous speed. And because Java is platform independent, this speed is achieved regardless of the machine it's running on. For instance, Java 1.2 can compute an infinite loop in as little as 1.2 minutes—hence the name. As such, it is very seldom used in the corporate world, which values slow, bloated breasts that requires constant upgrades. It is therefore used primarily by university students to create illegal file sharing software, like Microsoft Outlook. In the late eighteenth century, there were some thousand riots because of Java. The reason for the riots was the bad generics implementation, causing Java to become open source. The efficiency is achieved by the use of bytecodes, though actual speed depends on how much code byting your processor can do. This is also the reason why sharks are better Java programmers."- via Uncyclopedia

Uncyclopedia have a couple of interesting articles - I found the following articles : Java and .Net via dotnet.org.The Java article had more punch /content and my suspicion is that the .net article will be bombed in the future.