The new office slang...
404 - Someone who is clueless. From the Web error message, “404 Not Found,” which means the document requested couldn’t be located. “Don’t bother asking John. He’s 404.”
Alpha Geek - The most knowledgeable, technically proficient person in an office or work group. “I dunno, ask Rick. He’s our alpha geek.”
Assmosis - The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.
Blamestorming - A group discussion of why a deadline was missed or a project failed and who was responsible.
Blowing Your Buffer - Losing one’s train of thought. Occurs when the person you are speaking with won’t let you get a word in edgewise or has just said something so astonishing that your train gets derailed. “Damn, I just blew my buffer!” (Synonym: “Head Crash”)
Body Nazis - Hard-core exercise and weight-lifting fanatics who look down on anyone who doesn’t work out obsessively.
CROP DUSTING - Surreptitiously farting while passing thru a cube farm, then enjoying the sounds of dismay and disgust; leads to PRAIRIE DOGGING.....
Egosurfing - Scanning the Net, databases, etc., for one’s own name.
Flight Risk - Used to describe employees who are suspected of planning to leave a company or department soon.
GOOD job - A "Get-Out-Of-Debt" job. A well-paying job people take in order to pay off their debts, one that they will quit as soon as they are solvent again.
Percussive Maintenance - The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.
Plug-and-Play - A new hire who doesn’t require training. “That new guy is totally plug-and-play.”
Salmon Day - The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed in the end. “God, today was a total salmon day!”
Seagull Manager - A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, shits over everything and then leaves.
Starter Marriage - A short-lived first marriage that ends in divorce with no kids, no property and no regrets.
Tourists - Those who take training classes just to take a vacation from their jobs. “There were only three serious students in the class; the rest were just tourists.”
Umfriend - One with whom one has a sexual relationship; as in, “this is Dale, my...um...friend.”
Uninstalled - Euphemism for being fired. Also: decruitment.
World Wide Wait - The real meaning of WWW.
Yuppie Food Coupons - Twenty dollar bills from an ATM.
404 - Someone who is clueless. From the Web error message, “404 Not Found,” which means the document requested couldn’t be located. “Don’t bother asking John. He’s 404.”
Alpha Geek - The most knowledgeable, technically proficient person in an office or work group. “I dunno, ask Rick. He’s our alpha geek.”
Assmosis - The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.
Blamestorming - A group discussion of why a deadline was missed or a project failed and who was responsible.
Blowing Your Buffer - Losing one’s train of thought. Occurs when the person you are speaking with won’t let you get a word in edgewise or has just said something so astonishing that your train gets derailed. “Damn, I just blew my buffer!” (Synonym: “Head Crash”)
Body Nazis - Hard-core exercise and weight-lifting fanatics who look down on anyone who doesn’t work out obsessively.
CROP DUSTING - Surreptitiously farting while passing thru a cube farm, then enjoying the sounds of dismay and disgust; leads to PRAIRIE DOGGING.....
Egosurfing - Scanning the Net, databases, etc., for one’s own name.
Flight Risk - Used to describe employees who are suspected of planning to leave a company or department soon.
GOOD job - A "Get-Out-Of-Debt" job. A well-paying job people take in order to pay off their debts, one that they will quit as soon as they are solvent again.
Percussive Maintenance - The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.
Plug-and-Play - A new hire who doesn’t require training. “That new guy is totally plug-and-play.”
Salmon Day - The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed in the end. “God, today was a total salmon day!”
Seagull Manager - A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, shits over everything and then leaves.
Starter Marriage - A short-lived first marriage that ends in divorce with no kids, no property and no regrets.
Tourists - Those who take training classes just to take a vacation from their jobs. “There were only three serious students in the class; the rest were just tourists.”
Umfriend - One with whom one has a sexual relationship; as in, “this is Dale, my...um...friend.”
Uninstalled - Euphemism for being fired. Also: decruitment.
World Wide Wait - The real meaning of WWW.
Yuppie Food Coupons - Twenty dollar bills from an ATM.
Labels: HUMOR
posted by (T)HINKINGPUTTY at 9:46 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home