JEDI MIND TRICKS dealing with day to day IMPROVISATION

It's easy not to be a Muppet , knowledge is power and it’s a jungle out there. If you feel inadequate and well outside the inner circle....it's probably time for some reflection to cultivate the inspiration again.

The IT industry is a twisted place and if you don’t know this fact after spending some years in the pIT it will suck you deeper into ignorance...get with the program - there's no spoon , do something about it.

Start off with the acronymic education ,water-cooler folks may have referred to you as one of the following on a day to day basis...

BE EDUCATED > WATERCOOLER ACRONYMS OF DOOM:

POBCAC ("Problem Occurs Between Computer and Chair")
PIBKAC ("Problem Is Between Keyboard And Chair")
PEBCAC ("Problem Exists Between Chair and Computer")
PEBCAS ("Problem Exists Between Chair and Screen")
PEBCAT ("Problem Exists Between Chair and Terminal")
PEBMAC ("Problem Exists Between Monitor And Chair")
PEBCAK ("Problem Exists Between Chair And Keyboard")
PEBKAC ("Permanent Error Between Keyboard And Chair")
EBKAC ("Error Between Keyboard And Chair")
BCAK (bee kack) ("Between Chair and Keyboard" error)
PICNIC ("Problem In Chair Not In Computer")
IEBKAC ("Interface Error Between Keyboard and Chair")
PEBKAM ("Problem Exists Between Keyboard and Monitor") which is where the user would appear on a system flow-chart if they were considered part of the machine as a processing component.
IUE ("Incompetent User Error")
IO ("Idiot Operator")
CODE 18 ("Problem is 18 inches away from the screen")
WETWORKS ("The Drip who is using the computer")

The networking administrators' version is referring to the cause of a problems as "a layer 8 issue". The automotive repairpersons' version is referring to the cause of a problem as a "loose nut between the steering wheel and the seat."

My favourites PICNIC and WETWORKS..remember to Shake and Bake...if you aint first you’re LAST...

METHOD TO THE MADNESS

I've been besieged with incompetence of late.My suggestion to the long to be PRO's out there is to stay focused and ahead of the pack.If you want to run with the BIG DOGS you can’t PISS like a PUPPY!

Processes are improved and adjusted by professionals on a basis of necessity ,following these trends tend to pay off.I found constructive pointers on the web worth a UNI DEGREE. Read between the lines ,master the correct trend or craft your own!

8D (Eight Disciplines)

Extremely useful and my good tendency followed and implemented religulously.

Click on the image to enlarge

1. Use Team Approach
Establish a small group of people with the knowledge, time, authority and skill to solve the problem and implement corrective actions. The group must select
a team leader.

2. Describe the Problem
Describe the problem in measurable terms. Specify the internal or external customer problem by describing it in specific terms.
3. Implement and Verify Short-Term Corrective Actions
Define and implement those intermediate actions that will protect the customer from the problem until permanent corrective action is implemented. Verify with
data the effectiveness of these actions.
4. Define and Verify Root Causes
Identify all potential causes which could explain why the problem occurred. Test each potential cause against the problem description and data. Identify
alternative corrective actions to eliminate root cause.
5. Verify Corrective Actions
Confirm that the selected corrective actions will resolve the problem for the customer and will not cause undesirable side effects. Define other actions, if
necessary, based on potential severity of problem.
6. Implement Permanent Corrective Actions
Define and implement the permanent corrective actions needed. Choose on-going controls to insure the root cause is eliminated. Once in production, monitor
the long-term effects and implement additional controls as necessary.
7. Prevent Recurrence
Modify specifications, update training, review work flow, improve practices and procedures to prevent recurrence of this and all similar problems.
8. Congratulate Your Team
Recognize the collective efforts of your team. Publicize your achievement. Share your knowledge and learning.

More gravy to keep the Frenetics on TARGET (LINKS) :

CAPA - Corrective Preventive Actions Presentation (137kB PPS)
Statistical process control

Statistical Process Control (SPC) is an effective method of monitoring a process through the use of control charts. Control charts enable the use of
objective criteria for distinguishing background variation from events of significance based on statistical techniques.

Failure mode and effects analysis

A failure modes and effects analysis (FMEA) is a procedure for analysis of potential failure modes within a system for classification by severity or
determination of the effect of failures on the system.

CapaSys

Compliance requires organizations to capture all corrective action issues and track their corrective action process to completion. About 30% to 50% of all 483 citations in FDA regulated industries are related to problems with Corrective Action & Preventive Action (CAPA) processes.

Steps to Competitiveness

Ishikawa diagram AKA Fishbone

Ishikawa diagrams (also called fishbone diagrams or cause-and-effect diagrams) are diagrams that show the causes of a certain event. A common use of the Ishikawa diagram is in product design, to identify potential factors causing an overall effect.

More on Fishbone

That should do it , feel enlightened…...ez

Back at the RANCH

So I'm back in the thurd world , bombarded with the mediocracy and smooth running inadequacy around each corner...Afric du sud is the definition of madness upon return from LONDON the Capital of psychosis.

I'm sure that A Politician Ate the Money ! was my first recurring thought. It’s so bad that I've contemplated resorting to religion...Enough of the sulking and on with the business.

I've accumulated interesting quotes to rejuvenate the Thinkingputty arsenal ...

I know there is way too much but Sit back , GROW THE BEARD and EXPAND THE THEORY.

It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes. Douglas Adams

Nothing is more conducive to peace of mind than not having any opinions at all. Georg Christoph Lichtenberg

Biography lends to death a new terror. Oscar Wilde

When a distinguished but elderly scientist states that something is possible, he is almost certainly right. When he states that something is impossible, he is very probably wrong.Arthur C. Clarke

Everybody gets so much information all day long that they lose their common sense. Gertrude Stein

The reverse side also has a reverse side. Japanese Proverb

Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow. Mark Twain

You give my regards to St. Peter, or whoever has his job, but in Hell. Joss Whedon, Zack Whedon, Maurissa Tancharoen, and Jed Whedon

It has always been the prerogative of children and half-wits to point out that the emperor has no clothes. But the half-wit remains a half-wit, and the emperor remains an emperor. Neil Gaiman

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. Rita Rudner

If one company lays of few off....it drives efficiency.If every company lays a bunch off.....it drives a DEPRESSION

Once you believe you are king, you will be off the throne soon enough...That wouldn’t apply when you actually know you are king, however…

Unfortunately, what's good for the goose doesn't seem to be good for the gander.

Abilities....such as a faint feeling about the future, are slippery and elusive. Richard Dawkins

Winston Churchill said that "short words are best and the old words when short are best of all."

There is always more misery among the lower classes than there is humanity in the higher. Victor Hugo

I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody. Bill Cosby

The purpose of life is to fight maturity. Dick Werthimer

People who have no weaknesses are terrible; there is no way of taking advantage of them. Anatole France

If we were to wake up some morning and find that everyone was the same race, creed and color, we would find some other cause for prejudice by noon. George Aiken

To avoid situations in which you might make mistakes may be the biggest mistake of all. Peter McWilliams

The concept of a soul without a body seems to me to be empty and devoid of meaning. Albert Einstein, 1921

A conservative is a man with two perfectly good legs who, however, has never learned to walk forward. Franklin D. Roosevelt

Some things have to be believed to be seen. Ralph Hodgson

A billion here, a billion there, pretty soon it adds up to real money. Senator Everett Dirksen

Those who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night. Edgar Allan Poe

Human salvation lies in the hands of the creatively maladjusted. Martin Luther King Jr.

Cynics regarded everybody as equally corrupt... Idealists regarded everybody as equally corrupt, except themselves. Robert Anton Wilson

My life is like a zombie movie! I survive game after game after game, but the football just keeps coming! The only way to stop team sports is to aim for the head. Matt Milby

I finally figured out the only reason to be alive is to enjoy it. Rita Mae Brown

The difference between a democracy and a dictatorship is that in a democracy you vote first and take orders later; in a dictatorship you don't have to waste your time voting. Charles Bukowski

Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't. Erica Jong

Didn't reality become insanity? Or was it the other way around? Either way, it was fun knowing your car was protected by an aggressive drunk dude with a massive gun. And it was you who brought everything that was real and or insane to the party. Matt Swan

VIVA MUGABE !